I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Let's get the cat blown out
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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