it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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