I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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