literally had 100 drinks last night.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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