Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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