If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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