You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
