i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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