he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
