Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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