he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
