You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
