One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
