I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
