Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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