we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
