I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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