"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
