Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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