im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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