Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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