You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
