What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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