im gay
i know
yea but for you.
time to smoke my breakfast
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
