i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
They took my balls.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
