tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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