Already got asked if we're dating
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize