My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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