You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
