i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize