I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
