I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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