True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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