You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
too bad you live with your parents still
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
