he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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