Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
