so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
