I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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