I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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