If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
