But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
