Just fell off a train. Bad.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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