I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
