Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
