I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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