I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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