when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
