Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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