i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
