so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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