Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize