There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
