one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize