She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There are leaves in my underwear?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
