I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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