Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
