i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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