Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
A bitchslap is in order.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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