Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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