Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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