nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
