Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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