the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
