I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
