i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
